Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Battle of Mind-- I WILL WIN!

Let me first start this out by saying that I am FAR from perfect. Some of you have commented that you are amazed that I spend time with the Lord everyday like I do. I have to. I will tell you shortly why I am so dependent on Him, like He has called me to be. Over the holidays I wasn't as faithful as I wanted to be, I felt rushed or didn't even open my Bible or sit and talk with Him. (My talking in journaling) This morning, the alarm was set and did go off at 6, but I didn't get out of bed until 7:40. I was probably tired because I sat on the computer last night blogging!

Let's go back alot of years. I was saved when I was 12. I went to church regularly. I was involved in choir and every summer would go on choir tour and tell others about Christ. Looking back now, Im not even sure if I knew what I was really doing. After I graduated from high school. I did my own thing. A few years later, Chris and I married, few more years later, got pregnant with Hudson. Then I realized that I needed to get my spiritual life back in order, maybe not even that, just get one period! We visited churches, found one that we loved, but got out of the swing. We then joined Oak Hill, which we loved! There, Chris and I both came to know Christ together and got baptized together. That was an awesome experience. My walk with the Lord was growing, however, not like it should. I was still in bondage to several things that did not honor the Lord in any way, shape or form. We then got pregnant with little Coley. I thought that my walk continued to grow, but it was growing the wrong way. Satan had began to attack my mind, my walk, my marriage, and so many other areas of my life, that once again, were totally not honoring the Lord. After Coleman was born, things began to improve, spiritually. But Satan was still on the prowl. Chris and I then joined Shadowbrook Baptist where my family has been such a blessing! Over the next several months I began to get sick. January 2008 was when it all started. Between then and March, I lost 17 pounds, wasn't able to function as a wife and a mother, couldn't do anything. Little did I know that Satan had totally taken over my mind and he was winning the battle. On March 6th, 2008, the battle was far more than what I could handle anymore. I was taken to the hospital and then went on to Peachford. I am SO NOT ASHAMED of this. People think that mental health is a taboo subject, but let me tell you.... everyone suffers with something somewhere. How awesome it was to be stripped of everything! The Lord literally picked me up from my life that was crumbling, placed me somewhere that I was safe and alone with Him. Then and there is when I realized that I could no longer play "Christian". I couldn't be a pew warmer, I couldn't pretend anymore. He wanted me! All to Himself! He wanted me to focus on Him. So from that day forward, I have tried my hardest to not allow Satan to enter my mind or even try to look at me. That nasty thing... I can't stand him! I have to make the effort to take the time every morning. When Im fresh and can focus on Him and our relationship. If I don't, my day is literally in shambles and Satan will start prancing around me trying to get my attention. My attitude is ugly, Im just not nice. The day literally falls apart before it really ever began if I don't begin it with Him. When I brought this up in Sunday school a very sweet lady recommended to me that I read "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. I got that and the 100 Devotionals that go along with it. And this has truely helped me alot!

Here is one part that I always turn to, that I love!
2 Corinthians 10:4-6
"for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of the fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete."

~"Lord Jesus, in Your name, I cry out for victory. Enable me to bring every thought into obedience. Help me not to allow Satan's words to stay in my mind and steal my victory. Amen!" (This prayer is from Joyce Meyer in the devotional book and on a sticky!)

I am a major fan of sticky notes and if you have been to my house within the last 10 months, you will see so! I place scripture on sticky notes and put them everywhere! I have to! There has been a handful people that have been complete prayer warriors for me during all of this. Knowing that I ALWAYS have you to lean on has been so awesome. You know who you are and I love you dearly!

So today, if you are one thats struggling with Satan. Struggle no more! Turn to God and turn it all over to Him! "Cast all your anxiety onto Him, for He cares for you!" 1 Peter 5:7. That one was on a sticky note in the car, fridge, cabinets, mirrors, etc!

You will win the battle, but not alone!

Monday, January 5, 2009


Here are a few, and I mean a FEW of my struggles that I deal with on a daily basis.
I'm usually pretty good up until a stressful moment, boredom sets in, or Chris is munching on something that I should not even lay eyes on. Everytime the boys want a snack, for some reason, I think that I need one too! Or when Im walking by the pantry, I think, wonder if anything new is in there? Who hasn't ever opened the fridge or pantry and just stared at it, hoping that something magically appeared there that would satify us?!?! And a biggie here..... I hate to throw away stuff; birthday cake, brownies, that kind of crap, so I will just eat it until its all gone. Give me some advise on what to do in these situations!

And Im currently having a hard time maintaining a good balance of everything that I do. Mainly right now, fitting in the time to work out. I have no excuse not to. The flipping treadmill, weight thinger mabobber, and stair master is literally about 20 feet from me right now.
Heres my daily schedule, tell me where you think that I could make adjustments. And please note, no 2 days are EVER the same.

6 AM: Wake-up, drink coffee, and spend some time with the Lord
7:15-7:30: Boys are up, breakfast, get dressed, etc.
8:40: Load up in the car, head for carpool
9:20: Get back home. Usually Cole will take a nap. I try to get on the computer and catch up with work stuff and personal stuff that needs to be taken care of. And at this moment, Im so far behind on everything!
12:10: Get back in the car, pick up Hudson from school
12:50-2:00: We are back home. Lunch time! Play time, catching up on other household junk
2:00-4:00: I try to get both boys down for naps, but Hudson usually will not take a nap. ( Im guessing that I could sneak in a little work out here.)
4:30-5:00: Trying to get dinner started. Virtually impossible with all of the chaos. Im telling you, my boys, mainly Coleman, is a TERROR!
5:30- daddy comes home
6-8 pm: Dinner, bath and bedtime! After that, Im so pooped that I think that I have 3 husbands from the blurry vision! And that, would not be cool!
8-10: Sometimes, not always, Im back on the computer finishing up stuff, paying bills, blogging! But Im seriously too tired to even walk up and down the stairs. And other times, Im telling Chris "yes, babe! I am awake!" But not really, I have already fallen into a slumber on the couch.

I'm Laying it ALL Out There

Like everyone else around, I'm going to start eating better and getting exercise this year. Why do we ALWAYS do this at the 1st of a new year?!?! Why not March 16th or July 29th? Anyhow, last night I was talking to my friend Jennifer telling her that I have GOT TO GET WITH IT and really meant it this time. She's heard me say that I know, umpteen millions of times, but this time, it's serious.

As you may be aware, I had a complete life changing experience that happened this past March. I have been placed on some medications that unfortunately vamp up my desire to eat. I was born with this natural desire to devour everything in sight and now, oh my stars! It's out of control! Seriously! But back in the summer, I did try Weight Watchers, on my own. The first week, I did lose 4 pounds. And I continued to do well, until Hudson's birthday in August and for some strange reason, me and the Sissom's and my husband all tried to see who could eat the MOST points that day. Yeah, well... I think that I won that day and every day since then. Fast forward to today. This morning, I thought.... I really need someone to hold me accountable. Then that way, I KNOW that I have to report my "results". Last night, Jennifer did say that I should start WW's with her and Richie, but she doesn't scold me enough! Shes not MEAN about it! :) (love you Jenn!) So a little while ago, my friend "Marie" whom I have known since 6th grade, the most fabulous friend in the world, started a new accountability thingy. She has started a new blog page, http://operationbikini2009.blogspot.com/ . And then, the ball started rolling for me! I guess that I am messing with the idea of posting my "results" weekly and letting you (whomever you are!) know whats working, not working, great food ideas, etc. Unfortunately, I'm not one that likes to get eat out alot and eat frozen stuff. I like my stuff cooked.... IN FAT BACK! ;)

Wish me luck! I want to hear from you and how you are doing and please share your ideas with me as well! I need help! There, I admitted it! I NEED HELP!

Happy Weight Loss 2009!