Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Battle of Mind-- I WILL WIN!

Let me first start this out by saying that I am FAR from perfect. Some of you have commented that you are amazed that I spend time with the Lord everyday like I do. I have to. I will tell you shortly why I am so dependent on Him, like He has called me to be. Over the holidays I wasn't as faithful as I wanted to be, I felt rushed or didn't even open my Bible or sit and talk with Him. (My talking in journaling) This morning, the alarm was set and did go off at 6, but I didn't get out of bed until 7:40. I was probably tired because I sat on the computer last night blogging!

Let's go back alot of years. I was saved when I was 12. I went to church regularly. I was involved in choir and every summer would go on choir tour and tell others about Christ. Looking back now, Im not even sure if I knew what I was really doing. After I graduated from high school. I did my own thing. A few years later, Chris and I married, few more years later, got pregnant with Hudson. Then I realized that I needed to get my spiritual life back in order, maybe not even that, just get one period! We visited churches, found one that we loved, but got out of the swing. We then joined Oak Hill, which we loved! There, Chris and I both came to know Christ together and got baptized together. That was an awesome experience. My walk with the Lord was growing, however, not like it should. I was still in bondage to several things that did not honor the Lord in any way, shape or form. We then got pregnant with little Coley. I thought that my walk continued to grow, but it was growing the wrong way. Satan had began to attack my mind, my walk, my marriage, and so many other areas of my life, that once again, were totally not honoring the Lord. After Coleman was born, things began to improve, spiritually. But Satan was still on the prowl. Chris and I then joined Shadowbrook Baptist where my family has been such a blessing! Over the next several months I began to get sick. January 2008 was when it all started. Between then and March, I lost 17 pounds, wasn't able to function as a wife and a mother, couldn't do anything. Little did I know that Satan had totally taken over my mind and he was winning the battle. On March 6th, 2008, the battle was far more than what I could handle anymore. I was taken to the hospital and then went on to Peachford. I am SO NOT ASHAMED of this. People think that mental health is a taboo subject, but let me tell you.... everyone suffers with something somewhere. How awesome it was to be stripped of everything! The Lord literally picked me up from my life that was crumbling, placed me somewhere that I was safe and alone with Him. Then and there is when I realized that I could no longer play "Christian". I couldn't be a pew warmer, I couldn't pretend anymore. He wanted me! All to Himself! He wanted me to focus on Him. So from that day forward, I have tried my hardest to not allow Satan to enter my mind or even try to look at me. That nasty thing... I can't stand him! I have to make the effort to take the time every morning. When Im fresh and can focus on Him and our relationship. If I don't, my day is literally in shambles and Satan will start prancing around me trying to get my attention. My attitude is ugly, Im just not nice. The day literally falls apart before it really ever began if I don't begin it with Him. When I brought this up in Sunday school a very sweet lady recommended to me that I read "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. I got that and the 100 Devotionals that go along with it. And this has truely helped me alot!

Here is one part that I always turn to, that I love!
2 Corinthians 10:4-6
"for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of the fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, and we are ready to punish all disobedience, whenever your obedience is complete."

~"Lord Jesus, in Your name, I cry out for victory. Enable me to bring every thought into obedience. Help me not to allow Satan's words to stay in my mind and steal my victory. Amen!" (This prayer is from Joyce Meyer in the devotional book and on a sticky!)

I am a major fan of sticky notes and if you have been to my house within the last 10 months, you will see so! I place scripture on sticky notes and put them everywhere! I have to! There has been a handful people that have been complete prayer warriors for me during all of this. Knowing that I ALWAYS have you to lean on has been so awesome. You know who you are and I love you dearly!

So today, if you are one thats struggling with Satan. Struggle no more! Turn to God and turn it all over to Him! "Cast all your anxiety onto Him, for He cares for you!" 1 Peter 5:7. That one was on a sticky note in the car, fridge, cabinets, mirrors, etc!

You will win the battle, but not alone!


Kelly Ford said...

I'm so proud and excited for you, Ashley!

The Georgia Pitts' said...


You are still an inspiration to me. I hope you are able to take the weight off and that people have been able to give you suggestions that are helpful.

I am in awe of all you have gone through--even and especially before you came to Shadowbrook. You always appear to "have it all together", but I guess most people put that face on at church, huh? Or in public?

God has BIG plans for you, and He will not allow anything to interfere with those. Keeping yourself in God's Word daily is not an easy discipline to accomplish...so for you to treat that as you do is very inspiring and humbling.

If I can do anything for you based on all that I have shared with you and what you know about me, I would be glad to. Just let me know.

I love you!